If you’re just joining us,
we are continuing our coverage of the ominous music that
is sending panic across the nation. The suspenseful music was first heard
throughout the country at 3:10 Eastern Standard Time
this afternoon sending citizens and government officials
on high alert. Something really bad is going
to happen, I can just feel it. We go now live to Washington correspondent
Jane Carmichael with an update. Hi Andrea. -Jane do we have any more
information on the source of this music? Well Andrea the AP is reporting
the ominous music is being caused by an intrepid young journalist
who is currently rifling through a classified government dossier.
-Okay, I see. But moments ago the New York Times’
website posted a story claiming that the music may be linked to a group of
wealthy, recent high school graduates speeding along a winding road in
a red convertible, screaming and laughing with the hubris of youth. -Okay.
-At this point we just don’t know. Okay now we’ve been informed that
police nationwide are on the lookout for attractive teen girls wandering
by themselves. -Yes, yes they are and experts say their chances
of being hacked to pieces by a knife-wielding maniac have increased
over 600% since the music began. I’m sorry Jane, I’m just getting word
that we’ve got some footage of that now. I think it’s just Joey doing this,
he must be playing a prank. Come one Joey, knock it off!
It’s not funny Joey! Come on, stop! Interesting lead there, but Jane
is the telephone watch still in effect? Yes absolutely. Officials are saying
not to let your phone ring suspensefully two or three times because the call
will likely be completely harmless, a neighbor or a friend but be
very careful after you hang up. When you’re standing there relieved,
that is when the horrible event is most likely to occur.
-Okay. FEMA is attempting to bring an end to the music
using a variety of strategic phrases but so far it’s been unsuccessful.
Let’s go now live to Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Come on, it’ll be fun. Wait for me guys. What’s that shadow in the water? If that wasn’t you, and that wasn’t me,
then what was it? Watch how a real man does it. No developments there as of yet,
now Jane I understand President Obama has been taken to an undisclosed location,
can you confirm that Jane? Well you know Andrea,
there is no authoritative word but apparently
the White House… Oh my God!
Oh my God! Jane? Jane? Okay, we seem
to have lost that signal but we’ll bring you more information
as soon as possible. Moving on, a new erectile dysfunction
drug that works by chemically lowering a woman’s expectations.