Why We Feel Lonely and Odd

One of the most basic facts about the human condition is that we know ourselves from the inside? But we know others only from what they choose or are able to tell us a far more limited an edited set of data We are continuously and intimately exposed to our own worries hopes desires and memories many of which feel Overwhelmingly intense strange vulnerable, or sad yet when it comes to other people We’re tightly restricted to knowing them through their public pronouncements to what they can or choose to reveal The hints and clues we’re left to play with are hugely imperfect guides to the reality of another person’s existence The result of what we termed this psychological Asymmetry is that we almost always think of ourselves as far more peculiar Shameful and alarming than other people we run into our experiences of anxiety anger Envy sex and distress Appear to be so much more intense and disturbing than those of anyone in the vicinity We art of course in truth really so odd. We just know a lot more about who we are The results of psychological asymmetry are loneliness and shyness We are beset by loneliness because we cannot imagine that others long and desire Envy and hate crave and weep as we do we feel ourselves cast out into a world of strangers Inherently different from everyone we live alongside and potentially fundamentally offensive to all those who might know us properly it appears in dark moments that no one could possibly both know and like us We also get shy easily intimidated by people who we assume cannot share in our vulnerabilities And whom we imagine would be entirely unable to relate to the petty grand perverse or idealistic thoughts that pass moment by moment through our minds if We reach important positions We feel like imposters beset by an impression that our quirks separate us from others who have occupied comparable roles in the past We grow boring and conventional mimicking the externals of other people on the false assumption that this is what they might truly be like inside The solutions to psychological asymmetry lie in two places art and love art provides us with accurate portrayals of the inner lives of strangers and With Grace and compelling charm shows us how much they share in troubles and hopes we thought we might be alone in experiencing and love gives us an occasional deeply precious sense of security to Reveal who we really are to another person and the opportunity to learn about their reality from a position of extreme secure proximity To overcome the effects of psychological asymmetry we must constantly trust especially in the absence of any evidence That everyone is likely to be far closer to what we are that is far Shyer more scared more worried and more incomplete than they are to resemble the personas They show to the world we are Fortunately not any of us quite as odd or quite as special as we might assume or fear At the School of Life we believe in developing emotional intelligence To that end we’ve also created a whole range of products to support that growth Find out more at the link on the screen now

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41 Responses

  1. grimble says:

    Loneliness has increased with age. I feel disconnected from the regular middle-aged clerk. It's not the road in life I have taken. We have nothing to talk about. When I was young, I was afraid of coming off as odd, while now I embrace it. I'd love to have a personality. Twenty years ago, if someone called me a moron, I'd die on the inside. Now I call myself a moron, just for the fun of it. I don''t give a crap whether I come off as intelligent or not. People's opinion of me means less to me now. They are not my friends. They were never there when I needed them.

  2. Saturn says:

    i know that i’m lonely and i’m keeping it that way until i die

  3. atx dank says:

    the video won't even load, i tried everything even refreshing with the lowest settings. this has been happening with a lot of youtube videos for me. youtube sucks ever since they sold out to google

  4. David Thomspson says:

    I can't put into speech what I can into the written word.😶

  5. Juan Osses says:

    Amazing animation, kudos for whoever made it (Clearly the contents are great as always).

  6. Insanity Cubed says:

    Alright, so everybody wants to be a crossdressing stripper?

  7. opalfishy says:

    well i'm lonely because people have said to me i am too emotional. I know that i am more sensitive and emotional and that alone makes me lonely. I actually assume everyone is as disturbed and suffering as me, but sometimes it seems I overestimated.

  8. Joy Kim says:

    I love this

  9. Mychael May says:

    For me, one word: anxiety

  10. Bittercup says:

    Art, Love and memes. Where all hidden traits are revealed and met with an encouraging nod of "mood".

  11. That one Dude says:

    Again and again you give me insight to my life in so many ways. Thank you thank you thank you

  12. Caleb Bridges says:

    I knew a narcissistic Christian pastor he was physically and verbally abusive for years I thought I was serving God nobody Christians make pathetic narsasist its now a growing trend

  13. Aquarian Sage says:

    Yo, the artist who animated this episode has tremendously talented hands!

  14. getaloadofthis bullshit says:

    the amount of people that seem to think they’re so special and different among so many other mindless robots proves the exact point of this video lmfao. get a hang of urself karen ur not as unique as u think

  15. magic says:

    Good proportion of these people are autistic but they lived their lives undiagnosed. This is not a classic autism hence the sign are invisible. This century will be the century of autism and its correct diagnosis. It will help to prevent suicide among men

  16. Sonion ring says:

    Everyone deep down is a freak.

  17. KE Shawn says:

    Yes…Living alone is like a battle that never ends.Since you feel that no one on earth cares about you,it makes you feel like everyone is your enemy therefore,you may find it extremely frustrating to be around other people…

  18. Kamran Raja says:

    Lost will to live. Last 3 yrs just in a rut. How do a get out n start living again

  19. Maribel labindao says:

    But I'm scared to be hurt and I'm insecure

  20. HG Tudor says:

    i think ive ruined my life with drugs.be careful what you take

  21. A A says:

    I feel so frickin lonely. Like this feeling that never goes away. Like I want something but I don't know what it is. I tried filling it with men but it's still there and won't go away. I don't know why I feel this way. I have friends but at the same time…I'm just so lonely

  22. 4kids says:

    I have a friend.

    My best friend from kindergarten.

    She keeps secrets of me.

    I found out today.

    I don't talk to her.

    I don 't have friends now.

    I'm lonely at school.

  23. baby Maharaja says:

    Iv become more depressed and lonely as I get older. All my friends have moved on and hardly keep in contact. I live alone and nobody ever comes to visit me. Sometimes I get so lonely I pace back and forth in my empty apartment wondering why nobody ever cares to reach out to me. ☹

  24. - The1trueharf - says:

    The main reason people get lonelinesss is the need for love. Yes I believe love can be a need and not just a want for some. I myself is not about showing myself in a fake manor a lot of the time though. More people should show their real selfs in public. I see someone sad and I am like it takes strength to show that in public. Sometimes it is easy to tell if someone is hiding some emotion though. Remember, there literally is no normal so… L0L

  25. Mike says:

    This is just what I needed.

  26. Mgd. Bgr says:

    I love your voice. Its speaking hope to someone

  27. Mark Williams says:

    Stopped @ 0.22 minutes. The white upper middle class Oxbridge accent is too much for me.

  28. Classified Chappy says:

    The only thing I feel lonely is when at times even when making a good impression on having the same interest and show the energetic side that the other person likes it during an event. But when it comes of making connections along with trying to get to know you most people don't have the social media count you use mainly or including not responding to a text once you have their number which this at times realizing all the efforts is a waste of time that I dislike that makes it very lonely as fuck at times. /:

  29. emily rowland says:

    no i’m lonely because i just got cheated on three days before hoco and ik he cheated because he lied about it and then fessed up about it there’s 2 1/2 years down the drain👍

  30. Sweet Cinnamon says:

    I have many friends but i feel like they all hate me. I feel so alone. Every night ism kept awake thinking they hate me and ill die alone. I dont have depression or anxiety so i guess im lucky but i feel alone, unlovable and unwanted. I want it all to end

  31. Gemma Jowett says:

    I’m the outcast in my whole class i hate it

  32. Selin Lale says:

    This is just wonderful….

  33. Pillmatik42 says:

    Because I have no close connections with any other humans. When I did I was at my happiest but I was so damn poor I had to move to another state to go back to school and better my life. But it’s a new state and I don’t have time with work/school for real meaningful relationships

  34. Oop Sk says:

    I feel lonely because there are so many couples in my grade
    Last night one of them kissed at 12 years old on the lips
    I’m 13 and I haven’t had my first kiss
    I want to date but I don’t like anyone
    I feel so alonr

  35. Raphaella Velasquez says:

    Because we are.

  36. Tim Halterman says:

    I am so sad

  37. K o o k i e s & m i l k t a e says:

    Sometimes I have a habit of locking and unlocking my phone over and over again when I’m alone in class where everyone around me has someone to talk to, but me

  38. Donna Philben says:

    I can be in a crowd of people and still feel lonely

  39. Shadow Crow says:

    I wish someone wud snipe me🎯🔫

  40. hotmusterd says:

    I always find myself saying “I just want to go home” when I’m already at my house, I feel so alone because i don’t think anyone understands me, or maybe that’s just my perception.

  41. Symbol Studios says:

    Don't know know if anyone will see this and say something that is real and able to actually help me but anyways I'll try vent.

    I'm an older brother of 4 siblings. Lived in UK for all my life and had very hard experiences to go through as a kid. So to put it simply as possible. When I was 4 my mum and dad split over a domestic violence situations that happened where my MUM attacked my DAD. Although I was young I was scared and jumped into the middle of it and got attacked by my mum and watched my dad pull my mum to then get his face clawed at by her. At the time I knew what was happening didn't understand why it was. I then tried stop her again but some neighbours called the police at the time and went straight away to go and arrest my dad cos my mum played the victim card. I was so in shock that I didn't know what to do in that situation to get the attention of the police for me to say what happened. (Now older I realise I should have been asked, but my dad is black and mum is white with blonde hair blue eyes and I was going to be seen as "just a kid" despite having bruises and scratches on my arms and face that day. That is one major truama thats haunted me till today. Don't know how to deal with that truama and all the others that followed after, and I have went to get help 3 – 4 times but I can't connect and feel open enough to talk about this stuff with the councillor since they responded to me in a patronising manner and without any real understanding or empathy. Just sympathy. I can't feel and haven't been able to for the past several years I have moments where i can and I expand them as best as I can but its too quick.

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